got much better than I thought it would be. I got to talk on the phone with Betsy even though it consisted of me ranting. I’m glad even though she’s like 7 hours away we can still act as if we are 3 houses down. I miss her.
THEN, Lindsie called =] it was super super super super nice to hear her. Even though I love texting her and being able to talk that way it just makes me feel closer when I can hear what she is saying. I miss her terribly, but I get to go home and see her this weekend for her 18th! birthday. Then I can take her out to go swing and make her a turtle cake even though she isn’t going to eat it she’s getting it anyways. It’s going to be a fun time and I am SUPER excited!
Now I am off to sleep inspection for AFROTC early in the morning. It’s going to be a busy day tomorrow.
- I’m never going to be happy and I should accept that
- I’m not good enough
- He was right I’m not worth it
- I’m tired of not being able to sleep
- I give up
- I know I always get taken advantage of
- I know I’m not smart enough to be here
- I’m tired of pretending I’m fine because I haven’t been for a very long time
- I don’t want my heart anymore someone else can have it
- I could care less about college
- I could care less about college girls I don’t want them and I haven’t since I’ve been here
- I could care less about waking up
I just want to go home. I want to bike. I want to go to the beach and never leave. I wanted to be treated right for fucking once since I devote my life to treating others how they deserve. I want to be happy for once. I want to run. I want to leave. I want to dissappear. I want to die. I want I want to complain for once since I try to never do that because I put others so far infront of myself. I want someone to care. I want to stop getting lied to. I want to be able to go numb.